“Your order from Papa John’s pizza will be delivered to your door in approximately 55 minutes.”
Yes, the less I have to actually talk to an actual human this week, the better. I’ll probably just let out a few grunts when I answer the door.
Well, since Jess broke Talkback – I guess I’ll just vent here!
Cell Phones
Cell phones don’t bother me – I like cell phones. Using your cell phone while driving does concern me. What really bothers me, is this disturbing trend of people using cell phones in public restrooms! If you want to use your phone in your own restroom, that’s fine. Just a polite cough to cover up the plops, and I’m happy. But seriously, why are you on your phone in a public restroom!? Cell phones are already intrusive – I’ve had to fight back the urge to sling insults at someone when their phone went off in a movie theater or restaurant. The other day at a bookstore cafe some guy was talking way too loud into his phone, that just seems rude. But the last thing I want while standing at the urinal is some guy talking on his cell phone next to me. And would you really want to be the person on the other end of the phone? I wish people would realize that while they’re on their cell phone in a public place, people nearby can hear half the conversation. And if you’re going to use a phone with a hands-free set – please make it obvious. I have a hard time differentiating between you and the crazy guy that just laughs for no reason every 15 seconds as he’s walking through my building.
Next time some guy is on his phone next to me in the restroom, I’m going to ask him to say hi for me. Or better yet, if it sounds like his wife on the phone, I’ll ask loudly who the hot girl (or maybe guy) he’s with is, and if they’re available.
Religious Spam
Another disturbing trend. I’m actually get email from people who want me to accept Christ as my savior. I already gets tons of spam (the spam-catching service I use has caught almost 3700 junk email messages in the last two weeks. That’s not counting the handful that still get through) I really don’t need more. As far as I can tell, they aren’t trying to ‘validate’ email addresses either – it was plain text, with no read reciept requested. As if this isn’t bad enough – the other day I head out to my car after work and find a 15 page religious color newspaper under my wiper. And they hit every car in the 8-story parking garage. Seriously – do you think some office worker is going to get to his car at 6:00 on a Monday evening, find crap on his windshield and littered all over the garage, and suddenly find God?! I doubt it. But hey, if annoying people and littering up God’s beautiful planet makes you feel better and counts as “Doing God’s Work” – who am I to judge? The back page listed Alamo Ministries as the culprit. Look on their site – they even have a page devoted to legal issues from spamming/littering parking lots. These people are seriously nuts.
Speaking of Spam – someone sent me a link to this guy’s page where he actually ordered Viagra from one of those online places. It was hilarious, but I can’t find the link now. Anyone have it?
White Crosses
All the white crosses scattered around the highways. I’ve noticed these more and more over the last two years. I realize why they’re there… but why are they there? So someone died in a car accident there – do we really need to memorialize that spot? Should we put up white crosses everywhere someone dies? In 2001 almost 43,000 people died in car accidents – do we need a road-side memorial for all of them? What about the people that die of a heart attack – are they less memorable? Let’s put crosses where they died too. Maybe I’m a cold-hearted bastard, but I thought that’s what graves were for.
Do me a favor – don’t put a white cross where I end up dying. Unless it’s someplace cool like Mt Everest or the North Pole…. or in the middle of the produce department at Kroger’s.
Support “Carb Appreciation Week” this week. Show all those great carbohydrates how much you appreciate them by scarfing down an extra bowl of oatmeal for breakfast or a nice big potato at lunch! Trying making a sandwich with bread for dinner. Deface any sign you see proclaiming “Atkins friendly!” (Disclaimer: I’m not responsible if you go to jail. Don’t call me)
I think I actually had a reason to put something in here… and now it escapes me. Huh. Well, when in doubt: “Jess sucks”
Sometimes I stay at hotels just because they have a seemingly endless supply of hot water.
Everyone wish my mother a happy birthday!
Have you seen this ‘retrosexual’ rant? Morons.
Ok, that’s it for today, short and sweet. Oh, I have a new phone, it takes pictures (no, that’s not why I bought it)
Maybe I’ll see if I can figure out how to take pictures and put them up here. I know that would thrill you all.
Cockeyed.com: Always bring your camera
Ok, another one you can waste your time with. The “How much is inside” is entertaining, the pranks are hilarious, and the investigative report into all the work-at-home signs is informative. Good stuff.
Here’s some stuff to keep you entertained today…
It’s great having a website and all… put stupid crap up for everyone to see. There is a downside to this outlet though – creepy people.
When I broke my leg awhile back, I remember getting a creepy email from someone. I guess there’s people out there with a ‘cast fetish’ – seriously, there’s entire sites devoted to it, I couldn’t make this kind of stuff up if I tried. I’m guessing this one is similar, because the subject is ‘Broken Bones’ which is what it puts in the subject if you click the ’email me’ link from my little pages about how much breaking your leg really sucks. So anyway, here’s the email I got the other day… the headers indicate that it actually came from AOL, but the address at the end of the email was a hotmail address. I don’t think it was spam (hard telling, spammers are odd these days – are you getting the religious spam yet?)
—————————————————————
From: address removed@aol.com
Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 12:15:53 EST
Subject: Broken Bones
To: wildblue@wildbluesky.com
r u gay ur well fit if u do reply unlikely to- different address removed@hotmail.com
—————————————————————
I have a few issues with this –
First of all, how often has randomly propositioning people on the internet worked for you? Personally, I’ve never tried. However, if I were to try, I think I’d go with the odds and maybe try for someone of the opposite sex. My theory there is that there’s a lot more heterosexual people out there, my random email is more likely to end up in their mailbox.
Second, do I look gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, or that gay people generally tend to look a certain way… but… ok… we’ve all heard the term ‘gay-dar’ And typically (I know, I’m stereotyping people here) gay people’s gay-dar is a little more high-power. I don’t know… I’m lost.
Lastly, this person saw a picture of me on crutches and wearing stupidly baggy pants and a coat (I’m assuming, since that’s the page they were on when they emailed me) and from that they’ve deduced that I’m “well fit”? Huh.
I realize I’m just lobbing a big, fat, slow pitch to ‘Cakes… call it a sympathy Seppuku.
Comments are back – joy. Not that anyone uses them.
I no kidding just printed this sign to tape onto one of the copiers:
“Please make sure staples are removed and ‘White Out’ is completely dry before feeding pages to be copied”
How the @#&$ can people work in a “professional environment” and not have a clue how a computer works?! This baffles me. “Yes, I’m sorry, let me plug that cable back in for you… well what do you know?! It works again!” It’s simple fucking logic people: Computer works -> I unplug cable -> computer doesn’t work. Well I’m baffled as to the problem.
And since I’m “The Computer Guy” (excuse my over-use of quotation marks today) it stands to reason that since computers have keyboards, and typewriters have keyboards – I must know how to fix and what to do with typewriters. Brilliant. Seriously, I’m blinded by the stunning display of logic and intelligence in this place. This is why I need a new job – I want to be adding OEM drivers to a RIS image or building an Exchange server, or even scripting some cute little tool that will automatically delete old files for me… not plugging in cables that some dolt figured couldn’t possibly be important, or taking a typewriter out to the garbage.
ION (In Other News – I’ve taken to shortening everything like everyone does… but if someone ever says “G-2-G” to me again, I’ll bludgeon them to death with their own arm)
“The Transporter” is one of the worst movies of all time. It started out with potential and promise, then just took a complete nose-dive. You could actually see how they started to run out of money near the end of the movie.
That’s all for now… I have to go open someone’s CD drive for them… that’s understandable – they’re relatively new and complex devices – you have to have an IQ over 4 to work one.
Well, I’ll blame the lack of updating on Ready Hosting – they didn’t tell me they changed something on their end, so Blogger was all confused. Oh well…