I actually went a whole week without updating this. I’m so very sorry.

However, if you rely on my pathetic little website for some form of entertainment, you need to get a life.

People in general piss me off. One of the things they do that really gets to me is drive. When I start my own country, you’ll have to pass a grueling driver’s test. None of this simple drive-between-the-cones crap. Things to be included in the test:
* Must be able to demonstrate knowledge that the left lane is for passing. Slower traffic, move right.
* Must be able to take a curve or interstate ramp at or above the ‘suggested speed’ – conditions permitting.
* Must be able to make a left turn at a stop light without allowing more than a 1.5 car length gap to open up between them and the person turning left in front of them (may adapt this for even going straight through after the light has turned green)
* Obstacles will be introduced when turning at a light, such as oncoming traffic and pedestrians – you must start your turn before the obstacle is completely free of the intersection by 100 yards.
* When merging, you must accelerate to the posted speed limit by the end of the ramp. If your car cannot accomplish this, you will not be permitted onto the interstates.

I’m working on a list of traffic laws as well. Top of the list is: If you kill a biker with your car, you cannot use any form of transportation other than a bike for the rest of your life – regardless of weather conditions.

I gotta run… I’ll share the rest with you later. Feel free to comment, and add your ideas.

Yeah, Nextel blows. There seems to be about 20 different departments you have to talk to, and none know what the other is doing. “No sir, this is Nextel 9, you need to talk to Nextel 8”

Just a very short recap of my terrible experience with them:

Bought a phone off their website, backlight didn’t work, sent it back for an exchange. They sent me a new phone, already activated, and started billing me for two phones (and charged me the $200 for the new phone)

Called, get transferred around/on hold for an hour a few times, finally get it settled “yeah, it takes 6-8 weeks for that credit to show up when the warehouse gets your old phone” … huh? Ok.

A month later, phone gets shut off for non-payment (I had been paying my bill, just not the extra $300 that I was supposed to have been credited at any time)
Call, get transferred to a dozen different people, on hold, another hour and a half of my life wasted. This happens (my phone getting shut off) literally 5 or 6 times, each time I had to do through the same ordeal – transferred to a dozen different people, on hold for an hour, sometimes get transferred to someplace that didn’t exist so I had to start the whole process over again. A few times they said it was turned off because I requested it, a few times they said they didn’t know why, a few times they said it was for non-payment. The best was:
Them: “We can’t credit your account because your account is deactivated”
Me: “Well it’s deactivated because it’s been over 4 months and you still haven’t credited my account from the returned phone and where you guys screwed up and charged me for 2 phones for a month, plus setup fee”
Them: “Well we can’t activate it until the past due balance is paid for – do you have a credit card number?”
Me: “Uhh.. ok, you can’t activated because it’s past due, but it’s past due because you can’t credit the deactivated account”
Them: “Yes”
Me: “Do you realize how stupid that is?”
Them: “Well, that’s just how our system works”

Finally, after 4 or 5 months, I talked to a lady who was actually helpful! She just said “Sure, all I need to do is just make it a (I forget the term she used… Courtesy credit or something like that) and you should be all set.”
I wish I would have talked to her in the first place, instead of the dozens of morons before her. A month later, the returned phone finally showed up in their system.

And then, the speaker and outside LCD screen stopped working. I knew the phone worked, because there’s another speaker built into the phone to give you speakerphone capabilty. I took it to an authorized Nextel service center to get it replaced (P & R Communications) I thought it’d be a quick exchange, but no. The lady that worked there said the phone had gotten wet, and that’s why it wasn’t working – and they couldn’t exchange it because of that. She pointed at the exposed contacts on the bottom of the phone (where you plug in the charger) and said “See that green stuff there? That means it got wet” It was a tiny amount of corrorsion on the contacts – fairly normal for exposed contacts like that. But, she said she’d be happy to sell me a new phone for $300. I ended up finding the top half of the phone on ebay for $50, and replaced it myself.
And that’s the short version….

How do you forget a password you use everyday?! I don’t understand this. Every morning you type in those same few letters/numbers/special characters… perhaps for months at a time even (depending on your network security policy). Then one day… what? That one brain cell that’s holding your password up and dies?? I can understand if you don’t use it for awhile, then you forget, that’s understandable. But when you just used it to log in a few hours ago?!
More on stupid people later….

Every year for Halloween I intend to dress up – I come up with all these great ideas (this year was to simply put on a Cubs’ hat, glasses, and a set of headphones and carry a baseball around with me) but I never actually do them. I usually intend to carve a pumpkin or something silly like that too. I don’t know why, but I never actually get around to any of it. This year was actually the first time in a long time I went to a “haunted” anything (King’s Island – FearFest … which was disappointing from last year’s)

I usually come up with elaborate ideas for handing out candy on beggars night too – something to scare the kiddies. One year I actually did do something – when I was probably 15 years old. My step-mother had this huge, suspended, cast-iron pot in the back yard that was filled with dirt (ok, so in the summer there were flowers in the dirt) She dressed up as a witch and put some dry ice in the big pot. Pretty good scene – a few luminaries, some black light, and creepy music playing. To top it all off, I ran fishing line from a second story window to a tree in the yard, tied a stuffed animal to a hanger, and put a sheet over the stuffed animal. It made a pretty convincing ghost when it came flying down at you out of no where.

Now I’m just lazy I guess… I’m not even planning on handing out any candy this year.
ExtremePumpkins.com – Extreme Pumpkin Carving

I check out my mail the other day and I find this:
—-
From: [address removed]@aol.com
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2003 21:16:48 EDT
Subject: Broken Bones
To: wildblue@wildbluesky.com

hello i live in san diego and i kind of want to break my leg so i could rest what would you say will it be a good idea does it feel good or no
—-

How’s that for a strange question?
I’ve heard some strange things before… but breaking your leg for some time off? I’m hoping it was just a joke, or the guy wasn’t serious. But just in case, I decided to solicit some advice on his behalf (I didn’t really know how to respond other than “Probably not a good idea – it hurts.”) Here’s what others came up with…

“if it’s for not going to work, it’s OK, but…
the bad thing is to jump with a cast…
so : NO it’s not a good thing ”

“I imagine it would feel great! Go for it! Why stop at the leg? There are so many other places to be broken! Your head already appears to be, otherwise I’d say start with that! ”

“Definately weird dude. You should reply… tell ’em it feels “f*ckin’ Fa-bu-lous!”
Ask for video. ”

“looks like Darwinism might be speeding up a bit to me ”

“you get lot’s of pain meds if you break stuff ”

“Why break it.. hacking it of with a spoon is so much more pleasant”

“I’m thinking block of wood and a sledgehammer, a la Misery ”

To sum up – No it doesn’t feel good. However, if you do decided to do it, please post video somewhere.

Interesting reading. Can kill a day at work probaby. Don’t get too caught up in “She Hates my Futon” – it’s been 2 or 3 years since he’s added a chapter (although, he recently changed it and added chapter 24 “coming soon” …. tease.
My Boot

Val’s birthday is coming up – here’s a good idea for a birthday gift:

The Leg Lamp from Movie A Christmas Story by Jean Shepherd A Great Christmas Gift, theleglamp.com

I just wanted to actually update this twice in two days to say I did. Ok, so I’m actually checking to see if the time gets stamped correctly.
Oh, and I wanted to try putting a picture up here…
Huh… not bad eh? (That picture posting ability, not the sit flying…) This might prove to be usefeul after all.

Out of curiosity – does anyone think a ‘comment on this’ would be useful on here?

Obviously, you can’t comment here, so you’ll have to drop me a line or use the tag board.

It has come to my attention that my website has become ‘stale’

I cannot have this.

stale
adj. stal-er, stal-est
-Having lost freshness, effervescence, or palatability: stale bread; stale air.
-Lacking originality or spontaneity: a stale joke.
-Impaired in efficacy, vigor, or spirit, as from inactivity or boredom.
-Law. Having lost effectiveness or force through lack of exercise or action.

So, in an effort to be fresh and palatable again, I’ve made a spontaneous change that should make it easier for my lazy self to update this with a little more frequency.

Or maybe I won’t – but at least I can’t claim it to be a PITA anymore…